Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Fiasco!
Katie, Cathy, Jennie and I all convened in order to play a game of Fiasco, a game which involves creating characters and then watching everything go terribly, terribly wrong for them.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
i don't want to write my dissertation
Katie Katie Katie
She is such a butt
She has blog fever
And will create a glut
Shona is a dick
Dick rhymes with prick
She can't do poems
She will do a post.
The end.
She is such a butt
She has blog fever
And will create a glut
Shona is a dick
Dick rhymes with prick
She can't do poems
She will do a post.
The end.
 |
| Boom |
Monday, June 25, 2012
It's not even 2 P.M.
And already Shona has told Jennie she is going to explode, laughed at my tea misfortunes, and related the story of convincing her wee sister that a steroid injection would have to go up her butt. Cannot wait for further acts of ShonaDick!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Katie's Biggest Mistake
Katie has made the grave mistake of adding me as an author to this blog. Considering the blog URL, I am forced to question her good judgement in this action.
shonaisadick
katieisafool
shonaisadick
katieisafool
Thursday, June 14, 2012
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Pax Brittanica: Eliza and Roar, Day 1
On the outskirts of Victorian Edinburgh, at the crest of Calton Hill, there is a large dinosaur enclosure and a single raptor living within it. The raptor is a slight creature and stands at only five foot high. While it hasn't used its razor-sharp teeth on living flesh since it was a youth, in recent years it has been fed and raised by a dinosaur tamer. Living out on the hill and never daring to travel into the heart of the town itself, its tamer is lucky to see more than a handful of living souls per year - other trainers, of course. People with common sense tend to avoid dinosaurs in this day and age.
"Snowflake!" she shouts, her broad Scottish accent revealing that she is not from this town. "To me, love. Over to me."
The raptor turns its head towards her, where she stands by the edge of its enclosure with a large woven bag in hand: the bag that usually means dino-treats. After a reptilian head-tilt, it bounds towards her.
Focused upon the killer dinosaur that is eating scraps of meat from her hand, Eliza Von McDoogle fails to notice the swift, sleek figure that is cutting its way behind her towards the warm straw nest where she is incubating a dinosaur egg. The egg is mottled and is as large as a human baby at least - and such items are incredibly difficult to come by. To date, Eliza has only successfully raised a single dinosaur, and that is Snowflake in front of her.
Now, it seems as if her second dinosaur might be slipping through her fingers.
"Snowflake!" she shouts, her broad Scottish accent revealing that she is not from this town. "To me, love. Over to me."
The raptor turns its head towards her, where she stands by the edge of its enclosure with a large woven bag in hand: the bag that usually means dino-treats. After a reptilian head-tilt, it bounds towards her.
Focused upon the killer dinosaur that is eating scraps of meat from her hand, Eliza Von McDoogle fails to notice the swift, sleek figure that is cutting its way behind her towards the warm straw nest where she is incubating a dinosaur egg. The egg is mottled and is as large as a human baby at least - and such items are incredibly difficult to come by. To date, Eliza has only successfully raised a single dinosaur, and that is Snowflake in front of her.
Now, it seems as if her second dinosaur might be slipping through her fingers.
Day 1: Roar's Point of View
I am stuck on the road with the most irritating woman.
Not only has she insisted on bringing her smelly dinosaur, but she doesn't know how to lie or survive for squat! She almost got us caught by a copper as we were on our way out of Edemberg and she still manages to hold us up even though she's the one riding the horrible beast. It grins at me and I think it wants to eat my face. If only I had been able to grab that buggering egg!
She didn't notice me at first because I am a mistress of the shadows, thank you very much, and I had managed to grab the egg and turn to leave when she got a lucky break and spotted me. I managed to sweet-talk her into believing I was a dinosaur lover just concerned about the proper care of eggs, and nearly got her locked in the dino's pen while she blah blahed about her hopes and dreams for her stinky 'Snowflake' and that stupid egg. Can you believe she says she rescued him from a snowstorm? I would have left him there because he's worth more frozen than live and causing trouble.
Anyway, she was too fast for me then, and too fast again when I tried to run away, I'll give her that. She had her whip out and lashed my ankle before I could get two steps. It was stupid of her because I always have a knife on me and slashed right through it. I was ready to escape when she sat right down on the ground and started to cry. I may be a thief, taking what I can get sos I don't starve, but I wasn't prepared for crying. I don't know if she thought I was a boy, to be affected more by her tears, because I certainly cultivate that look, but for some reason I stopped and asked her what in the world was wrong.
Turns out the whip was her gran's and I had just cut through the most expensive item in her possession and as could be purchased anywhere. How does this woman survive day-to-day with such an emotional nature? She doesn't look soft, lean and fit with claw marks across her face from some dino or other. Without the whip though she was clearly lost so I asked if I could do anything to make up the cost. She mentioned something about sweeping up after dinos, fat chance, but then her eyes lit up and she told me about some rare egg she had heard tell of to the East that was worth some serious scratch. I don't have no pressing concerns at the moment, so I agreed to help her get it. She said there would be so much money I won't miss the cost of a new whip. Sounded good to me at the time.
So we set out, her on the back of that dino and me in my boy gear. She panicked with the policeman which is only to be expected from someone who forgets their dino license! I mean, really? We had to hoof it, or rather foot and claw it out of town and have been heading east to Duddingston.
Her name is Eliza. I cannot wait until this journey is over.
Not only has she insisted on bringing her smelly dinosaur, but she doesn't know how to lie or survive for squat! She almost got us caught by a copper as we were on our way out of Edemberg and she still manages to hold us up even though she's the one riding the horrible beast. It grins at me and I think it wants to eat my face. If only I had been able to grab that buggering egg!
She didn't notice me at first because I am a mistress of the shadows, thank you very much, and I had managed to grab the egg and turn to leave when she got a lucky break and spotted me. I managed to sweet-talk her into believing I was a dinosaur lover just concerned about the proper care of eggs, and nearly got her locked in the dino's pen while she blah blahed about her hopes and dreams for her stinky 'Snowflake' and that stupid egg. Can you believe she says she rescued him from a snowstorm? I would have left him there because he's worth more frozen than live and causing trouble.
Anyway, she was too fast for me then, and too fast again when I tried to run away, I'll give her that. She had her whip out and lashed my ankle before I could get two steps. It was stupid of her because I always have a knife on me and slashed right through it. I was ready to escape when she sat right down on the ground and started to cry. I may be a thief, taking what I can get sos I don't starve, but I wasn't prepared for crying. I don't know if she thought I was a boy, to be affected more by her tears, because I certainly cultivate that look, but for some reason I stopped and asked her what in the world was wrong.
Turns out the whip was her gran's and I had just cut through the most expensive item in her possession and as could be purchased anywhere. How does this woman survive day-to-day with such an emotional nature? She doesn't look soft, lean and fit with claw marks across her face from some dino or other. Without the whip though she was clearly lost so I asked if I could do anything to make up the cost. She mentioned something about sweeping up after dinos, fat chance, but then her eyes lit up and she told me about some rare egg she had heard tell of to the East that was worth some serious scratch. I don't have no pressing concerns at the moment, so I agreed to help her get it. She said there would be so much money I won't miss the cost of a new whip. Sounded good to me at the time.
So we set out, her on the back of that dino and me in my boy gear. She panicked with the policeman which is only to be expected from someone who forgets their dino license! I mean, really? We had to hoof it, or rather foot and claw it out of town and have been heading east to Duddingston.
Her name is Eliza. I cannot wait until this journey is over.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Post the First
Sitting here across the table from Shona, I'm struck by her innocent, studious expression and tinkling laugh.
In reality, Shona is a dick.
Just now she has decided to call me Lady Charlotte. How could I possibly be offended by such a sweet and dignified moniker? Implication of nobility, esteem, and an innocent nature has been offered me. Is it possible that I, in fact, am the dick to find myself ill-suited for the name? You, gentle reader, shall decide.
Lady Charlotte is in fact the nickname given by Queen Anne and Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough to their monthly courses.
Yeah. Shona is a dick.
In reality, Shona is a dick.
Just now she has decided to call me Lady Charlotte. How could I possibly be offended by such a sweet and dignified moniker? Implication of nobility, esteem, and an innocent nature has been offered me. Is it possible that I, in fact, am the dick to find myself ill-suited for the name? You, gentle reader, shall decide.
Lady Charlotte is in fact the nickname given by Queen Anne and Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough to their monthly courses.
Yeah. Shona is a dick.
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